TerrorBull Games Communiqués
New print-and-play: "Our Sonovabitch"
Ah, Gaddafi, you sly dog, hiding your weapons in schools and mosques. That old trick won't work. Now we're going to have to kill innocent people in order to stop you killing innocent people.
Hey, remember when Gaddafi was the "Mad dog of the Middle East" and was the worst enemy going and nationalised BP's oil holdings, supported and gave bombs to the IRA and virtually every other terrorist organisation that came knocking at his door? Then allegedly gave the command to carry out the worst terrorist atrocity on British soil?
Remember when we forgot all those crimes about 10 years ago and it was suddenly water under the bridge when we realised we shared a common enemy in Al Qaeda? And co-incidentally we drew up massive oil and weapons trading programs with the (formerly terrorist) custodians of the 9th largest oil reserves in the world?
Remember when Blair shook Gaddafi's hand and welcomed him back into the fold with great fanfare and we "compassionately released" Abdelbaset al-Megrahi, previously convicted for the Lockerbie bombing because he had only 3 months to live (he's still alive; it's a long three months)?
Remember how that compassionate release came about just before Megrahi's final appeal that was due to bring evidence to light that cast serious aspersions on Megrahi's (or even Libya's) involvement in the crime.
And remember when Gaddafi went bad again and started killing his own people? Remember that? It was just February this year. He just went mental. Before that - between 2003 and February 2011 - he was good and killed no one for a bit, and we all enjoyed selling weapons to Good Gaddafi. We especially enjoyed selling tear gas, chemical weapons and small guns to Good Gaddafi. The French preferred providing Good Gaddafi with ammunition and military planes. But then he went rogue again, back to his old ways - after only 7 years of being good - and we had to step in and stop him. And by step in, I mean we had to invade Libya's sovereignty.
These things are all unconnected, you understand, and I list them only for reasons of nostalgic indulgence and not in any way as a slightly strained way of introducing the theme of our latest Print-and-play game: "Our Sonovabitch".
"Franklin D. Roosevelt is reported to have said of the Nicaraguan dictator, Anastasio Somoza, "He may be a son of a bitch, but he's our son of a bitch". The story is apocryphal, but it tells a truth that persists today. We will support, encourage and sell arms to the worst of humanity as long as it is convenient to do so. Once the relationship sours, however, it's time to back out as quickly and quietly as possible, preferably invading in the wake to claim a righteous victory for democracy and freedom!"
Our Sonovabitch is about a fictional, dystopian future, a bleak future, void of morals and ethics, where diplomatic relations, financial and military support are offered not to the most deserving nations, but those most strategically beneficial to our immediate goals - regardless of what lunatic dictator is running that country and what that dictator does with our financial aid and our military and financial support is a total irrelevance.
In this future, you must sell arms to various countries as they start "kicking off". (Popular uprisings are great for business). But be careful! If you are called out on selling arms to politically dodgy customers, your diplomats will be shamed into retirement and your ability to do further deals reduces. Alternatively, you could just turn the tables and deflect attention onto your opponent and criticise them for the exact same dubious selling practices.
Posted by TerrorBull Games on 17 June 2011 - 5 comments
Share this page (you damn commie)
Comments so far:
- Finally! I've been waiting for your take on the Arab Awakening and you haven't disappointed. Can't wait to play this!Joss from London - 21 June 2011
- Hey guys just wanted to say we just finished an evening playing thi,s got about 10 games in, it is really, really, really good! Seriously guys, well done, this is like a proper game, I'm going to make a hard-backed, folding version tomorrow. Thanks yo u guys are AWESOME!!!!Janet from Melbourne - 2 July 2011
- Oh yeh, I FUCKIN' LUV your captcha!Janet from Melbourne - 2 July 2011
- That historical recap just made my day. :-D Also, kudos for having Israel as 7, and for the Grim Diplomats ^_^Chris Swann from Londontown - 12 July 2011
- Joss - it kind of terrifies us to think that anyone should be waiting on our commentary to something like the Arab Awakening; Janet - awesome! So glad you and your friends enjoyed it; Chris - we are happy to oblige; Israel only happens to be 7 because of its coincidental geographical location towards the centre of the board, you understand? :)TerrorBull Games - 19 July 2011
TerrorBull Games Newsletter
Submit your email to receive the latest news, special offers and really bad puns from TBQ HQ.